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Perhaps one of the most striking paradoxes of the modern era is the lack of time. Amidst intricate lifestyles, frantic schedules, and an overwhelming sense of busyness, it appears that no one has sufficient time to dedicate to others. Children find themselves unable to offer time to their parents, husbands struggle to allocate time for their wives, wives face challenges in finding time for their husbands, siblings grapple with time constraints in supporting one another, and even friends find it difficult to spare time for each other. This dearth of time has become characteristic of the 21st century.
Amid all this, the concept of ‘me time’ or dedicating time to oneself may appear incompatible. There are individuals who genuinely enjoy spending time alone. For some, however, living in solitude can be incredibly challenging. Conversely, those who prefer solitude seek out peaceful environments.
Unfortunately, free time has become a rare commodity for many people. Engulfed in the hustle and bustle of familial responsibilities and work commitments, individuals often find themselves lacking personal time. Nevertheless, psychiatrists and experts emphasize the importance of ‘me time’ for everyone.
If people spend time with themselves to cultivate their own happiness, it is often referred to as ‘me time’. Psychiatrists say that me time is not a luxury but an essential component of a healthy life.
The phrase ‘You cannot pour from an empty cup’ holds true in this context. If we are not content and fulfilled within ourselves, it becomes challenging to bring happiness to others. Taking care of ourselves is a prerequisite for effectively caring for and supporting others. Psychiatrists stress the importance of maintaining not only physical health but also mental wellbeing.
Dr Ravi Shakya, the head of the mental illness department at Patan Hospital, says tht loving oneself is not being selflish. He emphasizes the importance of taking care of oneself and prioritizing personal happiness. This involves not only placing oneself at the center but also considering one’s own needs.
The concept of me time is gaining recognition as essential for maintaining mental health. Dr. Shakya affirms the necessity of me time, even in the midst of a busy routine. He suggests that every individual should allocate at least a small portion of time for themselves.
Dr. Shakya clarifies that me time does not imply being alone all the time. Rather, it signifies setting aside some time within the 24-hour day to dedicate to oneself.
Getting time for yourself
Actress Suraksha Pant finds great pleasure in spending time alone, which she considers an opportunity for self-exploration. During these moments, she indulges in activities such as listening to music, writing poems, reading books, and contemplating her life.
“In solitude, I reflect on my life, work, and career,” she shares. “I delve deep into self-exploration, sometimes discovering new aspects of myself.”
Pant believes that artists, in particular, get more me time compared to other professions if they wish. “The nature of this profession is such that when there is no project at hand, there can be long periods of idleness. During these times, one can dedicate ample time to oneself,” she added.
During a discussion on ‘Mothers in Cinema: Balancing Career and Responsibilities’ at the Nepal International Film Festival 2023 (NIF), television anchor Malvika Subba emphasized the importance of taking time for oneself, loving oneself, and self-care.
“Every person should place themselves as the first priority. ‘Me time is crucial. In order to ensure the happiness of your child and be a good parent, you need to allocate time for yourself,” she added.
Subba personally enjoys going for walks. “You cannot monitor a child 24 hours a day. I want to commend those who can do that. Personally, I take a walk and say, ‘I’m going’ to pass the time’,” she added.
A healthy way to recharge
Psychiatrist Shakya believes that it is not appropriate to neglect oneself and use busyness as an excuse. He says people need to allocate time for themselves in order to recharge and rejuvenate.
“A busy lifestyle can take a toll on both physical and mental well-being. Spending time with oneself serves as a recharge, replenishing energy for work and daily activities,” he added.
When it comes to giving oneself time, Shakya suggests that the specifics may vary depending on the individual and their preferences. “People can engage in activities they enjoy during this time, such as reading, listening to music, dancing, traveling, and so on,” he shared.
“Everyone is first an individual before anything, including parents and children. They should unerstand this and give themselves time and recharge.”
Psychologist Dr Bijaya Bijukchhe says people feel more tired when they do not prioritize me-time. “Being constantly under pressure due to a busy routine and work rush increases stress. To reduce stress, you should relax and give yourself time,” Bijukchhe, who is also the managing director of ‘Abbal WE, shares.
She underlines the need for people to recharge themselves through me time, likening it to the process of recharging batteries in electronic devices. “People are constantly engaged in work from morning till night, leaving no time for themselves. This lack of personal time leaves them feeling drained. It is important to take time for oneself to recharge, refresh, and alleviate stress,” she adds.
Me time also plays a vital role in fostering self-love. Individuals who have a genuine love for themselves recognize the significance of me time and make it a priority in their lives.
Dr Shakya agrees that me time is crucial for a restful sleep. “When you prioritize your health and live a stress-free life, you increase your chances of getting a good night’s sleep,” he shares.
A writer who loves being alone
Writer Saraswati Pratikshya, known for her love of solitude since childhood, continues to embrace her introverted nature. She finds solace in enjoying her own company rather than being amidst a crowd.
Pratikshya feels suffocated if she doesn’t dedicate at least an hour or two each day to spend time with herself. “I feel anxious and start longing for solitude,” she shares.
One of her favorite ways to enjoy her own company is by sitting in a lakeside cafe in Pokhara. Additionally, she occasionally indulges in the experience of going to the cinema alone.
She finds solace in the closeness of nature rather than human interactions. She perceives each tree as a captivating painting and derives joy from being surrounded by plants.
Due to her inclination towards solitude, Pratikshya has faced criticism from some who perceive her as selfish. However, she strongly disagrees with this notion. “As a lover of solitude, where I find happiness within myself, spending time alone is not selfish. It is an act of wisdom,” she says
Pratikshya believes that being content with oneself is an art and should never be mistaken for selfishness. Solitude, along with me time, is essential for creative individuals, she shares.
“The increasing significance of meditation and Vipassana worldwide is a testament to the recognition of the importance of me time,” the author of the novel ‘Nathiya’ explains.
The author shares personal experiences where friendships have suffered due to a lack of time dedicated to others. “While some say that love transcends time, I realize it indeed takes time after a certain time,” shares Pratikshya. She said space is needed even in love, as it allows individuals to be with themselves and avoid emotional strain.
Pratikshya says she has turned down numerous literary and other engagements to distance herself from others. “Many say I am showing attitude. Those who comprehend my nature understand, while those who don’t perceive it label me as ‘arrogant’,” she shares.
Pratikshya sees me time as a transformative period where individuals connect with and discover their true selves. She firmly believes in the power of silence. “I believe in speaking as little as possible and avoiding unnecessary words unless absolutely necessary,” she says.
Be happy to make others happy
“Sometimes, we become so engrossed in our daily routines that we forget to ask ourselves ‘What do I want?’ and ‘Who am I?'” points out Dr Bijukche.
According to her, prioritizing oneself entails respecting one’s own needs. “If you don’t respect yourself, others won’t either. Putting yourself first also contributes to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, enabling more effective management of crucial aspects of life,” she adds.
Echoing Dr. Bijukchhe’s sentiments, Dr Shakya said individuals need moments of relaxation and engagement in activities they enjoy. “While it is natural to love and care for our families, in order to take care of others and ensure their happiness, one must prioritize their own happiness. Allocating time for oneself is crucial in achieving this,” he adds.
Dr Bijukchhe says taking me time doesn’t mean being individualistic and self-centered. She encourages individuals to prioritize their own well-being, stating, “No matter how busy you are, it is essential to carve out some time for yourself. By taking care of yourself, you become better equipped to care for others. When you are happy and content, you can share that happiness with others.”
